"Hey God, It's not you, it's me."

I've been to mass exactly once this calendar year, and it wasn't even Easter.  But when someone asks me my religion, I lift my chin an indiscernible amount and say, "Catholic" wholeheartedly.  And when someone on my social networking page alludes to some universally Catholic notion, I make sure to post comments so that I can feel included in the club even though I'm way behind on dues.  I've been trying to figure out what happened. 

In the past, I felt as though I could...or should...appreciate my faith more since I am not a cradle Catholic, but I actually CHOSE to be a Catholic and went through a faith-based initiation for adults for 7 or 8 months before actually being allowed to fully express my faith (you know, eat the wafers and drink the wine).  I spent months looking for a church community that I liked after moving away from my RCIA initiation church.  It was a tough transition for me, but I made it, found a church and pastor that I really liked.  Even joined the choir for a year or so and really liked it. 

It's so easy to say that I stopped going because I had my first child and then the second 11 months later.  But isn't this the very reason I should be going more than ever?  Huge life changing events, schedule upheavals, receiving the keys to Stress City?  I know I have a thing about control, but even I'm not dumb enough to think I shouldn't ask God for help.  In fact, if anyone can help me, it's him.  And I realize I need him.  And I miss him. Well, I miss something.  I'm not sure it's God I miss, because I do still sort of talk to God.  Not sure I'd call it prayer, exactly.  I'm just not connecting somehow.  "Hey God, it's not you, it's me". 

I've decided to use this blog to find my way back.  Research.  Dig into my feelings.  Make it funny, sure.  I won't be able to blog if it's not funny.  But also to find some lasting faith-based traditions to pass onto my boys who surely need God as much as I do.  You're welcome to tag along. 

Menudo and other Maladies

While reading entertainment "news" on the web recently, I came across a "Where Are They Now?" link that caught my attention...a picture of a young Ricky Martin, before he was Livin' His Vida Loca; a time when he was affectionately referred to as "Kiki", and a member of the Puerto Rican boy band, Menudo. Some girls had New Kids on the Block or New Edition. Some preferred N'Sync or Backstreet Boys. I got my my teen boy band kicks from Menudo. (Although, under the influence, I'll probably admit to a crush on BSB's Kevin.) After moving to South Florida from the outskirts of Atlanta, I guess I assumed that was just what girls in Miami did...when in Rome and all that.

I'd say he's aged like fine wine....(Source: Google Images)

I blame my friend, Barbara, for Menudo. She turned me on to the group by hanging these cute boy band posters in her room and sucking me into her Menudo subterfuge after inviting me to Six Flags to see Ricky's last concert in Miami with the band (In the Menudo tradition, Kiki was replaced shortly thereafter because he was too old for the group and no longer a boy.)

We'd drag my dad, a friend's parent, some first-time chaperone to wherever we could....Fountainbleu Hotel, Bayfront Park, Mall of the Americas, the set of Sabado Gigante, Six Flags....we didn't care. As soon as we got wind of where they'd be (The Menudo fan network was incredible considering the technology available was basically the telephone and beepers! - 143 143) we'd be on the hunt. Hotels, malls, parking garages, airports....we were like paparazzi. I was hysterical at 1am remembering the trip into NYC to visit the Menudo Store (I swear this place existed) so we could buy memorabilia. I also convinced my fun-loving aunt and her unsuspecting sidekick to take us to a Manahttan apartment building that might possibly be but who really knows for sure Ruben's building, where I was able to take a picture of the buzzer panel and decided to play really freakin hard to get by not actually ringing the buzzer for fear that I could get arrested or something. Occasionally, they would sing in English rather than their traditional Spanish, and during my tenure in the fandom they released an all-English album, including a *hit* song with "You Got Potential".....Finding this video on YouTube sort of scares me. Listening to it, I actually threw up in my mouth a little. I couldn't get all the way through it.



And then....Oh!...came the heartbreak when Ruben got booted from the group for pot possession (obviously, this is way before the success of the Crack is Wack campaigning that goes on now), and how I thought I'd just die if I couldn't see him again. We didn't have blogs for me to pour out my soul and grief. We didn't have internet so I could cyber-stalk him. It was total isolation from my Ruben.

I hadn't thought about that phase of my life in quite some time, so it was a whimsical journey as I clicked the links to discover where they are now, wishing I could visit Brazil to see (a hopefully sober) Ruben in concert and uploading current photos of Sergio to my cell and messaging them to my sister for her birthday (Happy Birthday, sis!) That short sojourn into history reminded me of good times with my sister, helped me better understand Bieber Fever and gave me a chance to reflect on how I became the person I am today - the mother of two half Puerto Rican boys who will one day be the Rubens of some young girls' hearts, Lord help me. Here's hoping it's not because of the way they can Shake their Bon Bon.

(Seriously? I think I found my 2011 Christmas Card. No, really.) (Source: www.rubengomezonline.com)

P.S. I get all my news from E!Online. I heart Ted Casablanca.

P.P.S. If you know Husband #1, don't you agree that he and Ruben kind of look alike? Except the hair, I mean.

P.P.S.S. Yeah, it's kind of why I keep him. :)

Number Two

Okay, so yeah, it's February and I could have conceived and birthed a child between now and my last post. Fortunately, that didn't happen. Not that kids aren't awesome. Especially mine, and I'm not just saying that. But I really REALLY REEEEALLLLY hated being pregnant. Talk about Crazy Time Jill. This was a whole new level of Crazy. I think people were actually planning an intervention.

Anyway, a brilliant segue way into my friend Logan's baby shower, which is tomorrow. As in, the first-born's birthday. I don't remember if I was asked if the date would be okay, or if I was just told the date in a sort of apologetic manner. But it doesn't matter, because SHE's the one having the baby, and for that, I am eternally grateful. My eldest son will only be 4 tomorrow, and he'll believe me if I tell him his birthday is Sunday. (Yes, Superbowl Sunday. Gosh, it's the kid's birthday. Give him a break. It's not like I can have his party on a day that's NOT his birthday - that wouldn't be right. Sheesh.)

So, Logan's baby shower. This is a special event. I mean, besides the obvious impending birth and all etcetera, it's a Mad Hatter Tea Party delightfully themed shower, and guests are "encouraged" to wear a crazy hat and vie for a prize!

When I got the invite a few weeks ago, I asked around work if anyone had a crazy, outlandish hat I could borrow. Charlotte (Yes, the titular Charlotte and that's not off-color, okay?) has a Kentucky Derby party every year and I thought for sure she'd have something. Or Jenn, who knows everyone, has everything and would surely be able to come up with something. Or Yvonne, who keeps everything, wins useless contest crap and likes foofy dress up. This request turned up nada. Then I searched online for crazy hat ideas and saw some pretty interesting stuff, but I didn't want to spend alot of money and I didn't think I was coordinated enough to make one myself, so I decided to just wear the cowgirl hat I bought for last year's Cattlebaron's Ball. And here I thought I'd never find another opportunity to wear that! Won't win me a prize, but at least I'm participating.

4/30/2010 Me and Husband #1 headed to the Cattlebaron's Ball

Then yesterday, as I was getting dressed for work, I started thinking. This is a bad habit of mine and can get pretty scary.

I saw the cowgirl hat and thought, Hmm. I could put a wedding veil on it, wear my faux ostrich boots (also bought for the Ball and worn only once) and go as a cowgirl bride. Oh! Then maybe I could put some *extra* padding under a white dress and go as a PREGNANT cowgirl bride. It's a baby shower, right? And I could borrow a toy shotgun from the neighbors' kid and call it a shotgun wedding! YES! This is a perfect idea....I knew Normal Logan would get it, and Normal Logan would think it was hysterical. But what about Crazy Time Logan? Um...(!)...not sure. So, after some careful consideration, I decided on the veiled cowgirl hat with a toy shotgun attached to it, dubbed the "Shotgun Wedding Hat". (Not too stereotypical, I hope. Everyone knows that you don't have to be a redneck to have a shotgun wedding. Thinking that's just ignorance.)


(Copied from Google Images.)

Anywho. When my T-minus-1 day four year-old son was born, someone gave me the cutest gift of baby sock roses and I thought Logan would like them. While searching for them online, I found instead the best baby gift idea ever: Sock Sushi! HOLLA! What sushi-lovin' woman doesn't miss sushi while she's pregnant, right? I really wasn't impressed, though, with the sock sushi I found for sale online....and then the one whose rightly given Indian name would be "She Sews with Safety Pins" imagined she could make them. And so one night last week after a trek to the nearest craft store to buy the goods, I spent about an hour making these babies:

The smaller ones are the socks and the large ones are hats. The hats came out better, but I put "roe" on the socks to make them more interesting.

I'm SO pleased with them! The success of the sock (and baby thug cap) sushi reminded me of a hat that I saw online during my initial search a few weeks ago....and I decided that She Sews with Safety Pins just might have the ability to throw something together for the party.

(Found on another blog)

This is the inspiration hat. Sweet, creative but not large enough to pay tribute to Shotgun Wedding Hat and her "Everything's Bigger in Texas" mentality:

Now THAT'S a sushi hat!

I can't wait for the Mad Hatter Tea Party baby shower tomorrow!! I'll let you know how it works out. That is, as long as my next post isn't on a Superbowl Sunday when the Dolphins are playing.

UPDATE: 2/7/2011 - I won the contest for the most creative hat! Woot!! :)

Number One

It started out as a simple work event about 12 weeks ago. Be a Busy Season Buddy. I work for an accounting firm where our busiest season aligns essentially with tax time. So, each employee is invited to be someone's "buddy" during that time to help them get through the stress and have a little humor/fun/recognition in their life.



So, I'm Charlotte's Buddy. I know that comes as a surprise to you, but apparently it was no surprise to her. I like to think I'm creative. Funny. Insightful. Thoughtful. But with the first gift....well, maybe the second one, she was like, "I know it's you." So, it's become a game now to cheat, lie, surprise and delight her. At least now she thinks it's a toss up between me and another person. Or so she says.



And this Monday, it will finally be revealed that I am the World's Greatest Busy Buddy. (Let's not go into how it happened that 'busy season' got extended into mid-May instead of ending at April 15.) So I thought my first blog post would be a commemorative of the funniest, most creative thing I've done in awhile. I think it's a good segueway into the next funniest, creative-est thing I hope to do....this blog. But more on that later. Happy Friday!!